تعصبات خودتقویتی، اعتماد به نفس و ترجیحات همسر ایده آل

People seek ideal romantic partners who are similar to themselves. In this research, we tested whether this preference reflects a self-enhancement bias. Study 1 (N = 40) found that people who like themselves a lot (i.e., high self-esteem people) were more likely to describe their ideal romantic partner in terms that matched their self-evaluations than were people whose self-feelings are more ambivalent (i.e., low self-esteem people). Study 2 (N = 141) extended these findings by showing that low self-esteem participants who had just been given positive feedback about themselves were just as apt as high self-esteem participants to describe their ideal romantic partner in terms that matched their self-descriptions. Taken together, these findings suggest that the more that people like themselves, the more they will desire an ideal romantic partner who is just like them.

What processes shape people’s preferences for an ideal mate? One possibility is complementarity. Like the lead character in the Hollywood movie, Jerry McGuire, people might be looking for a romantic partner who “completes them” by being the things they are not ( White and Hatcher, 1984 and Winch, 1958). Although cinematically appealing, this hypothesis has not fared well. Instead of seeking someone with different traits from their own, people seek others who are highly similar to themselves on a broad range of attributes ( Byrne, 1971, c and Klohnen and Luo, 2003). The reason why people seek similar ideal mates is less clear, however. One possibility is that a preference for a romantic partner who shares one’s own qualities is an example of assortative mating: a general tendency for animals to mate with others who possess similar attributes. Another possibility is that we prefer ideal mates who are like us because we generally feel more comfortable with those who share our tastes, opinions, and interests, or believe they are more informative targets of social comparison. All of these possibilities enjoy empirical support (Cooper & Sheldon, 2002). The present studies test a related hypothesis. Building on evidence that most people view themselves in highly positive terms (Alicke, 1985, Brown, 1986, Brown, 2012 and Taylor and Brown, 1988), we test whether self-enhancement processes guide the search for a romantic partner. Our thinking is this: Because most people like themselves a lot, they seek a romantic partner who is a lot like them (Jones, Pelham, Carvallo, & Mirenberg, 2004). To the extent that this is so, we should find that a preference for similar others varies across levels of self-liking (i.e., the more people like themselves, the more they want a romantic partner who is just like them). Our hypothesis is consistent with other research on self-enhancement biases in interpersonal relationships. For example, most people treat their relationship partners as extensions of themselves (Aron & Aron, 1997), and people who like themselves a lot are especially prone to view their romantic partners in unrealistically positive terms (Fletcher & Kerr, 2010). Extending these associations to “fictional” ideal mates, we predict that people who are very fond of themselves are most inclined to look for a romantic partner who shares their qualities. Importantly, the self-enhancement perspective differs from a simple similarity hypothesis. Unlike a similarity model that does not incorporate individual differences in self-feelings, the self-enhancement perspective assumes that the desire for a similar romantic partner will be stronger among those who like themselves a lot than among those who are less enamored with themselves. In statistical terms, whereas the similarity perspective is a “main effects model” (i.e., across levels of self-liking, people seek a romantic partner who shares their qualities), the self-enhancement model predicts a Self-liking × similarity interaction (i.e., similarity will be stronger when self-liking is high than when it is low). We conducted two studies to test these competing hypotheses. In the first study, we tested whether the desire for a similar ideal romantic partner is stronger among people who characteristically like themselves a lot (i.e., high self-esteem people) than among those whose feelings of self-affection are typically less strong (i.e., low self-esteem people). In the second study we tested whether temporary changes in self-feelings affect the preference for a similar romantic partner. In both studies, we expected that people who felt good about themselves would be especially likely to desire a partner who was just like them. 1. Study 1 1.1. Method 1.1.1. Participants Forty undergraduate students from a university in the U.S.A. (22 females) participated in exchange for course credit in various lower division psychology courses. All of the students had completed the Rosenberg self-esteem scale (Rosenberg, 1965) prior to the start of the experimental session. 1.1.2. Materials and procedures After signing an informed consent form assuring them of privacy, all participants completed two questionnaires presented in counterbalanced order. One questionnaire asked participants to indicate to what extent 10 traits described them, and the other questionnaire asked participants to indicate to what extent the same 10 traits described their ideal romantic partner. All ratings were made on 5-point Likert scales with appropriate endpoints (1 = not at all; 5 = very much). The 10 traits were chosen because they are valued personal qualities: attractive, competent, good-looking, honest, imaginative, intelligent, interesting, kind, responsible, and warm. 1.2. Results and discussion 1.2.1. Preliminary analyses Preliminary analyses indicated no significant effects of gender and this variable is ignored in the reporting of all statistical analyses. In addition, one (male) participant gave identical ratings of 5 on all 10 traits for his ideal romantic partner, and his data were discarded.