صلاحیت ارتباطات واسطه ارتباط بین کمرویی و کیفیت رابطه ای

Human relationships are vital for well-being, however shy individuals report lower relational quality than the non-shy. In an effort to explore how shyness affects people’s interpersonal relationships, this study focused on communication competence (as perceived by self and other) as the process by which shyness influences relational quality. Undergraduate students recruited a same-sex platonic friend to participate in this study along with them; participants (N = 310; dyads = 155) were directed to an online questionnaire to complete a series of measures about themselves, their friend, and their relationship. Results showed that self-perceived and other-perceived communication competence mediate the relationship between shyness and relational quality, such that shy people’s difficulty maintaining quality personal relationships is partially a function of their lower self- and other-perceived communication competence.

Shyness thwarts interpersonal goals such as initiating friendships (Asendorpf, 2000), by inhibiting communication when interacting with others. Such inhibitions include speaking less and behaving awkwardly during interactions, and these are associated with perceptions of low communication competence (Cheek and Buss, 1981 and Pilkonis, 1977). Shyness is associated with communication difficulties during relationship formation because of negative relationship expectations and fear of negative evaluations (Jackson et al., 1997 and Miller, 1995). However, shy people develop and maintain life-long relationships with family, friends, co-workers, lovers, and spouses, albeit at times with lower levels of relationship quality (Nelson et al., 2008). Because relationships are vital for people’s well-being (Spitzburg & Cupach, 2003), exploring how shyness affects people’s long-term relationships is essential. The current paper focuses on whether shyness’ effects on communication competence constitute one process by which shyness influences long-term relationship quality. Our study focuses on platonic friendships. Friendships are important in helping people cope with stressors, both during childhood (Miller & Coll, 2007) and adulthood (Burleson and MacGeorge, 2002 and Kisch et al., 2005). However, friendships tend to be less studied than romantic relationships. Communication competence has repeatedly been shown to have consequences for the quality of relationships (Lawrence et al., 2008); here too friendships have received little attention, even though the specific relational manifestations of competence probably vary by relationship type (Spitzburg & Cupach, 2003). 1.1. Shyness and long-term relational quality The predisposition toward shyness starts at conception and affects personal relationships through adolescence (Miller & Coll, 2007) and adulthood (Baker and McNulty, 2010 and Nelson et al., 2008). Shyness is associated with a number of cognitive, affective, and behavioral characteristics throughout people’s lives. Shy people are more depressed ( Nelson et al., 2008), lonely ( Findlay, Coplan, & Bowker, 2009), have lower perceptions of self-worth, social acceptance, and physical appearance ( Nelson et al., 2008), and feel discomfort or inhibition during interpersonal interactions ( Henderson & Zimbardo, 1998). Shyness is associated with social anxiety ( Leary & Kowalski, 1995), and socially anxious people have unrealistic negative self-evaluations of their social skills ( Segrin & Kinney, 1995). Shy people display differences in verbal and nonverbal communication compared to people who are not shy. Shy people have a harder time initiating and structuring conversations (Pilkonis, 1977), speak less, and take a longer time to respond during conversations (Leary & Kowalski, 1995). Shy people display higher levels of fidgeting and poor reciprocity of smiling behavior (Heerey & Kring, 2007) and are viewed by others as less friendly, less assertive, and less relaxed (Pilkonis, 1977), and are less verbally competent than their peers (Evans, 1993). People’s display of appropriate communication behaviors is referred to communication competence—the judgment one has about one’s own or another’s “ability to manage interpersonal relationships in communication settings” ( Rubin & Martin, 1994, p. 33). Not only do others perceive shy people to be boring or uninteresting ( Alm & Frodi, 2006), shy people themselves report having difficulty articulating their thoughts and feelings, not having appropriate interaction management skills, and believing that they are less competent than non-shy people ( Prisbell, 1991). Therefore, it appears that shy people are somewhat less competent in social interactions, and that they are aware of this fact. Because of this low competence, shy people may have difficulties managing their relationships because they are unable to talk effectively, fail to act in accordance to their partners’ expectations, or act in ways that are destructive for the relationship. Most broadly, then, we predict that communication competence serves as a mechanism (mediator) by which shyness leads to low relational quality. Below we explicate three specific hypotheses, each of which specifies this mediator relationship in terms of both parties to a friendship. Interdependence theory (Thibaut & Kelly, 1959) focuses on the rewards and costs incurred within relationships and predicts greater relationship satisfaction when costs are minimized. Minimizing costs involves working through relationship problems, which requires having the communication skills to discuss problems and seek solutions. Competent communicators should be better at this, and hence should reap relational rewards. As already discussed, shy people are less likely to be highly competent communicators. Therefore, we hypothesize that for a given individual communication competence mediates the relationship between shyness and relationship quality (H1). Partner’s communication competence is also associated with satisfaction in relationships – for instance, competent partners provide relational rewards by offering effective and appropriate communication (e.g., social support: Flora and Segrin, 1999 and Meeks et al., 1998). If partners of shy people perceive them as having poor skills, they will be likely to perceive the relationship as providing insufficient rewards and therefore experience low relationship quality. Thus, we predict that perceptions of a relational partner’s communication competence will mediate the relationship between partner’s shyness and self’s relationship quality (H2). Lastly, one component of rewards in a relationship is the idea that the self is viewed positively and valued by the partner. When people become aware that their relational partners view them negatively, the relationship loses one dimension of quality. For shy people, who are already aware of their limited communication competence, being negatively evaluated by their partner in terms of communication skills will be a source of relational distress. As such, we predict that partners’ evaluations of communication competence will mediate the relationship between self’s shyness and self’s relational quality (H3). Clearly such a hypothesis is premised on the idea that perceptions of communication competence are somehow visible and communicated to relational partners. We suspect that this occurs through multiple means in relationships, including explicit metacommunicative discussion of such issues.